Those Crazy Brits
by Deliciously-Devient
Summary: Eris Stormsong, and her friends never expected to end up at the famous Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry when they signed up for the foreign exchange program at Raumage Academy. What happens when these insane Americans meet these crazy brits?


"Why are you here?" a small first grader asked Eris. "Surely you're too old to be being Sorted?" Eris cocked an eyebrow at the small, black-haired boy.

"Haven't you heard?" she said, her green eyes twinkling. "We're the foreign exchange students from America."

The boys eyes got huge. "I thought that was just a rumor," he said, his expression rapt.

"Is it true that in America everyone is called a witch?" said another first grader.

"Yeah," said Joe. "In America, if you call yourself a wizard or a warlock, it means you practice Black Magick."

There were whispers around and someone said. "I heard Americans don't use wands."

"We don't," said Innana. She held up her left hand, where her silver conductor was wrapped three times around her wrist, its blue moonstone snuggled securely in the palm of her hand. "We use conductors. They're easier to conduct energy with, which makes spell casting easier."

There were more excited murmurs, but before anyone else could say anything, the door opened and a stern-looking gray-haired woman in green tartan robes entered the small anteroom where the first graders and American witches were waiting.

_Oh my god you guys_, Eris thought to Joe and Innana and Falcon. _Its McGonagall!_

"You will all order yourself in an straight line and follow me," she said. She noticed the four exchange students standing near the back and told them "You four are to be at the end. You will be sorted last." The four nodded, too excited to speak. They followed the first graders into the famous Great Hall of Hogwarts, where they were met with cheers. They lined up against the teachers table, and faced the famous four house tables. Innana laced her fingers tightly with Joe's, and they both looked nervously at Eris, while Falcon just looked bored, his eyes glazed. She smiled easily, completely at ease with hundreds of eyes looking at her curiously. McGonagall started reading off names, and small, nervous first graders sat on the three-legged stool and had the Sorting Hat placed upon their heads. Bored, Eris pulled out her iPod and put one ear bud in and cranked up the her favorite song from her favorite band, Witchy Woman by the Eagles. She felt many eyes on her, and tried to return each stare as she found it.

_Raven hair and ruby lips_

_Sparks fly from her fingertips_

"Peterson, Tomas."

"Quade, Derrick."

_Echo voices in the night_

_She's a restless spirit on an endless flight_

"Thomson, Jessica."

"Irvin, Delyn."

_Woohoo, witchy woman_

_She got the moon in her eye_

"Xavier, Richard."

"Zane, Kyle."

Eris took out her headphones with a sigh. They were up next, and she couldn't zone out on that. She'd forget what house she was Sorted into.

"As I'm sure you've all heard, this year Hogwarts is hosting a group of foreign exchange students from America. I expect you all to treat them with respect, and welcome them into their house, whatever one it may be," McGonagall said, then turned to them, She motioned for Joe to come up, and he walked up to the stool and sat, placing the Sorting hat gingerly on his head. There was a moment of silence before it screamed; "RAVENCLAW!"

The Ravenclaw table burst into applause and Joe slid off the seat and took an exaggerated bow at his friends before making his way to the cheering table. Innana made her way to the stool next and set the hat on her head. It had barely touched her head before it screamed "HUFFLEPUFF!"

The Hufflepuff table screamed its approval, and Innana made her way to the table, waving nervously at Joe, who smiled in encouragement. Falcon and Eris exchanged a look, and Falcon made a gagging noise before he sauntered over to the stool and put the hat on.

"GRYFFINDOR!" it roared. Falcon smirked and walked over to the Gryffindor table, his swagger even more prominent than usual. Winking at the table full of Slytherins, who were all looking at her expectantly, instead of walking to the stool, she bunched her muscles and flipped herself forward, executing a half-turn in mid-air and managing to grab onto the stool and steady herself in a one-hand handstand. She smiled to herself at the gasps she heard, and Falcons' call of "Show-off!" She lowered herself into a sitting position and placed the hat on her head. There was a long stretch of silence in which Eris cleaned her fingernails, wondering what she had done to get them so dirty.

"SLYTHERIN!" the Sorting Hat screamed, and Eris hopped off the stool and gave a deep, sweeping bow to the cheering table, before merrily skipping her way to the table, and hopping atop it. Her friends at the other three tables followed suit and the rest of the students whispered amongst themselves, wondering what these crazy foreigners were going to do next. The four simultaneously raised their conductor hands and said "Mitriso!" Four streams of sparks flowed from them, meeting about twenty feet about the heads of everyone to form the word HOGWARTS. After a few moments, the glittering word faded, and so did the clapping. Eris hopped lightly down and took a seat next to a pale, white-blond boy.

"Hello," he said politely, looking uninterested, but Eris wasn't fooled. Behind the cool mask of nonchalance, he was burning with curiosity.

"Hiya," Eris said merrily, waving her right hand, the one her gold conductor wrapped around five times, its deep emerald taking up most of her palm space, and conjured an apple. She caught it as it fell from mid-air, and took a big, juicy bite.

"You conjured that out of nothing?" the blond boy exclaimed.

"Not out of nothing," she said. "When I was on the train, I saw an apple tree full of bright, juicy apples. I simply took it from there."

"Without even saying an incantation?" he said incredulously.

"I don't have to use incantations when I know what I want and how to direct the spell in my mind," Eris said, looking at the boy wonderingly. "Don't they teach you that here?"

"No," he said. "What's that around your wrist?"

"My conductor," Eris said, showing the curious boy her wrist. "The band is made of gold infused with dragons blood and mermaid scales. The gem it pure emerald, wide with three facets, perfect for nature work, which is what I mainly do. The emerald is also good for potion making, which I'm very good at."

"Why don't you have a wand?" he asked.

"Sweetie, no one in American has used a wand since the Civil War," Eris said. "Besides, conductors are a lot easier to use when your out hunting demons. Just imagine dropping your wand right before a vampire is about to sink its teeth into you."

"Why would you even hunt vampires? That's dangerous!" the boy exclaimed.

"Because, the vampire and the demon population in America has gotten entirely out of hand ever since the Dracula epidemic of 1897. And a lot of Hunters have a personal grudge against vampire and demons. Like me. When I was ten, my sister and I were attacked by a vampire. I got away, but Erin wasn't so lucky," Eris said, her jaw tightening. She had vowed a long time ago that she would find the vampire who had killed her twin, stake him, and leave him out in the sun to disintegrate.

"You're a vampire hunter?" the boy asked, his eyebrows raising skeptically.

"Well, not yet," Eris said. "But I will be as soon as I finish my eighth year and get my apprentices license. After that I only have to be an apprentice for a year and a half to two years before I can hunt on my own."

"You have to go to school for eight years?"

"Nine, actually. But you only have to got to school for seven years to get your All Magicks Degree. Eighth and Ninth year are university years, for specialty jobs like Hunting, Healing, Armorys and State jobs. You don't have to do eighth and ninth years, but most people do, just for the extra degrees to add to their resumes."

"Oh," said the boy, his eyes wide. "What year are you in now?"

"Sixth," said Eris. "By the way, I didn't catch your name."

"Scorpius Malfoy," he said, holding out his hand.

"Eris Stormsong," said Eris, taking his proffered hand. "Oh, sweet, chicken!" Eris exclaimed as she noticed the empty gold plates suddenly filled with food. She reached for a piece of chicken, momentarily forgetting Scorpius. She filled her plate high with potatoes and corn and chicken and some odd-looking meat thing that looked interesting enough to try.

"You certainly like your food," Scorpius said, eyeing the giant pile of stuff on Eris' plate.

"She's a bottomless pit," Falcon said, walking up.

"Says the guy who once ate a whole thirty pound turkey by himself," Eris shot back. Falcon rolled his eyes and squeezed in between Eris and another girl. Eris scooted over as much as she could.

"Jeeze man, you gotta lay off the 'roids," Eris grumbled as she dug into the chicken, which was mouthwateringly delicious.

"Whatever," Falcon said, reaching into Eris' pocket and pulling out his cell phone.

"Get your hand out of my hole," Eris snapped.

"You know you like my hand in your hole," Falcon said, smirking and standing up. "I'll see later."

"Laters, Viagra," Eris said, saluting.

"Bye, Midol," Falcon said, swaggering off. For a few moments, Eris focused on eating, but then she turned to Scorpius.

"Hey, do you mind if I follow you to Slytherin dorm? I don't want to walk with the freshies," she said.

"Uh, sure," said Scorpius. Eris smiled her thanks, finding that she was growing quite fond of this imperious boy. She started eating again, but more Slytherins came up and asked her questions, and she talked to them animatedly, and at one point, sent off a ball of white light that spun and shone like a disco ball.

When the last food disappeared, there was a deafening scrape of chairs as everyone got up to go to their dorms, and Eris hopped up and followed Scorpius, who was soon joined by two other Slytherin boys, who looked at Eris curiously. Eris, on the verge of falling asleep, hooked her finger into Scorpius' belt loop and followed him, her eyes closing.

She woke with a start as she found herself in the Slytherin common room.

"Thanks," she said to her new friend, and then trudged over to the girls' dorm, finding her room with ease. There were four other girls in the room, and the only bed left was under the window, but Eris didn't mind. She loved falling asleep to the sight of the stars. She took off her bottomless bag and dug around for her pajamas, closed the hangings on the four poster bed and changed quickly before opening the curtains again and flopping down on the bed and pulling the covers over her head. She was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.


End file.
